Exercise...Week 2

I'm a little bummed out and discouraged.  I have worked really hard this past week. I've gone to the gym every day I could...and I've gained 2 lbs. Weird.  However, everyone kept saying today that this was normal.  It makes me want to quit...but, I won't.  However, now I am way behind in my goals.  Now, I have to loose 7 pounds by the end of the month! haha....that won't happen I don't think.  Maybe if I can just end up where I started...maybe that will be "good enough" for the Christmas season.

I did 2 spinning classes.  One I really liked, and the other I thought I liked...until I went to the "other" one.  I'll keep going.  I have to learn to "visualize" the ride.  Something that is really hard for me.  You basically "map out" the ride you want to go on and you pedal to the music and push yourself to finish. 

I've really been enjoying a circuit training group class.  This class includes "core" work along with rotating through the gym using different equipment, weights, balls and resistance.  I feel like I'm getting a good work out.  I've done a few other classes here and there as well as just spent one day in the gym running and lifting weights alone. 

Here's hoping I have better results Next week!

Exercise Routine...Day 1

Today was the day...is the day...I started my new exercise routine.  I am so excited that we got a membership to the YMCA.  Until a couple of weeks ago, I didn't know a little secret....if you get a family membership at the Y, Child-watch...while you work out...is FREE.  FREE....Read that word nice and slow!  Most gyms charge $2-$5/child/day for  babysitting service.  At those rates, there was no way I would ever go work out. 

But, finally....we have found something that I think will work.  I am really excited about all of the classes that the Y has to offer.  Everything form Yoga (not for me) and Pilates (also not for me) to step aerobics, Zumba, kickboxing and spinning.  There is even a crazy fit class that includes things like flipping tractor tires for the guys outside. 

Today I went to spinning class.  It was my first spinning class ever.  I knew it would be hard, and I expected a feeling of throwing up to come at some point...both happened (although I didn't actually throw up...I was very close to it).  The sad part was....I was totally showed up by the other three ladies in the class...Two were certainly over 50, and one told me she was 70 years old!  She kicked butt!  She had been spinning for three years.  Certainly if she can do it...I can too...eventually.  My legs were shaking, my gluteus maximus hurt, and I barely even did everything the instructor was asking of us.  I hope as the weeks go on, I will get better at it. 

Tomorrow I am planning on doing a circuit training class in the weight room.  I'm not sure how this class will run, or how many people will be in it.  The Y I am going to is pretty small...which I really like.  I'm not embarrassed by people and there aren't gawkers.  I felt comfortable. 

Anyway...I am very excited about working out.  Yes, I want to loose weight...yes I want to tone up...but even more than that, I just want to feel good about how I feel.  Right now...well, I don't even want to say how my feel, I know my husband doesn't like to hear me talk like that.  I have high hopes for the next few months.

So, my stats and my goals.
Today, December 9, 2010....
I weighed 147.2 pounds.


My goals:
By December 31, I want to loose 5 lbs and be at 142 lbs
By January 31, I want to loose 5 more lbs and be at 137 lbs
By February 28, I want to loose 5 more lbs and be at 132lbs....
and, if I dare to dream, by March 31, I would loose 5 more lbs and be at 127lbs....Then I would stop

Not stop exercising...but I would stop trying to loose weight.  I would probably back off an every day of the week schedule and drop to 3 times a week.

So, is it unreasonable to have a goal of loosing 15 lbs in 3 months?  I don't think it is...but maybe?!?  I don't know.  My goals are to go to class every day M-F, except for MOPS Thursdays.  My daughter's school starts back in January.  I won't be able to go that morning...but maybe that afternoon? 

I will report results at least at the end of each month.

Contentment

Recently, while on a trip up north, my husband and I met a mennonite family.  Their vehicle had broken down on the side of the road, and they were waiting for someone to pick them up.  The woman approached me and we had a conversation about family and about the Lord.  She so freely talked about Jesus....I stuttered.  I knew she was a mennonite, she had no idea I was a Chrisitian.  After our conversation I wondered what I could have said differently to convince her that I was saved, although it is not her I am to convince.  Either way, I realized how little my light shines, and how clumsy my words become when I speak to someone else about he Lord...specifically Jesus.  From that meeting, which I don't believe was chance, I am trying to be more bold...but I'm a afraid.

Eventually, the man walked up and began talking to my husband.  Somehow, my husband mentioned that we are hoping to change our lives soon.  We have a desire to move to a "simpler" place.  We want to live in a small, teeny town, own lots of land and farm.  We want to work as a family and not be running from place to place.  We don't want to be under the watchful eyes of others....family, employers, customers.  We want to rise early and work, instill a hard work ethic in our children and limit their access to abundant worldliness.  We want to be Amish....ok, not really, but sometimes it does cross my mind:)  Mennonite maybe? haha.  I'm being silly.  Back to my point.

As the many listened to my husband, he said "Godliness with contentment is great gain". 

Since then...that portion of scripture has been stuck in my head.  I have pondered what Paul meant when he said that.  I have wondered what the man meant.  I have worked to figure it into my own life.

Godliness with contentment is great gain (1 Tim. 6:6)

I think what he was trying to say was...are you content where you are right now?  If not, you will not be content where you want to go.  It is more important, more honorable to be godly.  And, even more so to be godly AND content.  If I am living my life restless, uneasy....wishing for it to be different, thinking throughout the day how to change it to that quiet life I want, I am not content.  The Bible talks a lot about contentment.  Paul reminds us in Philippians that he has learned to be content in whatever circumstances, both in want and in abundance.  Contentment is not something that can be obtained by things...if "things" make you content, then you are not really content.  The only way to be truly content is to fully trust in the Lord.  To allow HIM to be your sufficiency.  If you need something to change to be content, then it will not bring contentment, it will bring more want. 

Learn to be content whatever the circumstances....pursue Godliness and I believe contentment will follow.  Be Godly.  Be Christ-like.  You can do that anywhere.  In a big city, in your home, on a farm, in jail.  Then...and I think only then....can you be content. 

The goal of the godly mother, is that her children in the flesh--may be God's children in the spirit. A mother should be more careful of her children's pious breeding--than she should be fearful of her children's worldly bearing.
-William Secker, "The Wedding Ring" 1658
Taken from Gracegems.org

Daily I think about my children's spiritual lives.  I wonder if there is such a thing as "age of accountability".  What would happen if they died young?  When do I know when they are saved?  Am I simply raising "good", "moral" people who know all the right answers?  How do I cultivate a love for the Lord?  When will I see conviction of sin?  Should I back off of Bible memorization and teaching, because all ready at age 4 she knows the "right" answers.  Am I giving them head knowledge and not spiritual knowledge?

I liked the quote I posted above for a few reason. I loved the idea that my goal is that my children in the flesh....would be God's children in spirit.  I often pray that God would adopt them into his family so that they may be co-heirs with Christ.  

I love the second repentance because it is something I struggle with...being fearful of the world.  I don't want them to go to school because I don't want them to see and hear all the world has to offer.  Am I not trusting in the POWER of the Gospel?  I should be more concerned about their spiritual breeding than that they would be lured by the world.  I was reading Gospel Centered Parenting the other day and it said something similar....why would I think that the world would be seen more beautiful than the Gospel?  Do I believe (wrongly) that The Gospel is not exciting enough to compete with the world?

Trust God. Trust His Word. Continue to teach Your Children the Great Truths of the Bible...and almost more importantly...live a life that would draw them towards God...not contradict everything I teach them and push them away.

Oh Lord, please save my children.  They are sinners.  They are depraved.  They NEED you.  Please adopt them into your family as sons and daughters.  Lord, I ask for wisdom and grace as I teach and train them daily.  I Need it.  I can not do it without you.  

The Utter Ruin and Spiritual Death of Your Children

Parents! Your children are as surely as grown-up people, "dead in trespasses and sins!" May no parent fail fully to realize the spiritual state in which all human beings are naturally found. Unless you have a very clear sense of the utter ruin and spiritual death of your children, you will be incapable of being made a blessing to them. Go to them, I beg you, not as to 'sleepers' whom you can by your own power awaken from their slumber—but as to 'spiritual corpses' who can only be quickened by a  divine power!

If you think that your child is 'not really depraved', if you indulge foolish notions about the 'innocence of childhood', it should not surprise you if you remain barren and unfruitful.

If you would bring spiritual life to your child—you must most vividly realize that child's state. It is dead, dead! God will have you feel that your child is dead in trespasses and sins—as you once were. God would have you come into contact with that death by painful, crushing, humbling sympathy. If you would raise your dead child to spiritual life—you must feel the chill and horror of your child's death yourself. You must have, more or less, a distinct sense of the dreadful wrath of God, and of the terrors of the judgment to come. Depend upon it, when the spiritual death of your children alarms and overwhelms you—then it is that God is about to bless you!

-Charles Spurgeon (Christian Training of Children)
Taken from gracegems.org

What can I give?

Most days, I feel like a failure.  Usually not the whole day, but at least through portions of it.  I feel like my kids are running me, rather than me running them.  I bend under the pressure of constant noise, whining, questions, crying, fighting, etc.  It all sounds so loud to me.

By noon time, I feel defeated.  I strive each day to wake up and start the day new, fresh....no matter how I felt the previous day, or even how much or how little sleep I got the night before.  I try to start every day out new.  But, sometimes, I don't even make it until 9:00 before the doubts set in.  The lies being whispered in my head that I can't do it.  That I'm not a good mommy.  That they would be better with someone else or taught by someone else.  That I'm not patient enough or loving enough.  That I am to hard on them, or not hard enough.  That I have no balance and what are you doing? What could you give them that they can't get somewhere else....probably get it better.  All day long, these lies are being battled out in my mind.  I really think that's why I feel so exhausted, because my mind is constantly at war.  Sometimes the battle is won, but the war is not over.  Will it ever?

Mothering is so hard, but I'm not sure I can put into word why.  When I write it down, it seems stupid, silly and ridiculous, but when I face it every day it seems overwhelming. 

The latest battle....Homeschool vs conventional schooling.

I've always pretty much assumed I would homeschool, and I think my husband did too.  After teaching in the public school system, I really just felt like I didn't want my kids there.  The teachers were apathetic, the kids were lazy and the parents weren't any better.  I know that private christian schooling is out of the picture, at least where we live.  It costs as much as college!  Homeschool just seemed like the natural choice.

But, last week, we found out that we can put our 4 year old in free preschool next year for 1/2 a day, 5 days a week.  It literally ruined my day.  Those "your a failure" "others can do better" lies ran rampant in my head.

Now, I sit and think and struggle and fight through this question.  I see pros and cons of both keeping her home, "homeschooling" her and sending her to preschool.  Honestly, the pros of keeping her home FAR FAR outweigh the pros of sending her.  But, I feel the pressure of the world to send her.  My daughter has not been forced to learn basic things like, sitting still during "circle time" or walking in a straight line, or using an "inside voice".  We have, of course, talked about and worked on such things, but it has not been forced upon her.  But, those things, the "orderly things" are what she would get at preschool that are more difficult for me to offer here at home.  Are they important?  Is it really a big deal that when my daughter goes to a story time she wants to lay on her belly with her hands in her head and listen, rather than sit "criss cross applesauce" like a preschool would have her.  I don't know about you, but I would be much more comfortable laying on my belly listening.

Yes, a preschool would give her structure and an opportunity to play with others her age and listen to someone besides me....BUT....she does get play dates.  She'll probably be at a  co-op this year (as long as she stays home with me), she has siblings she learns to share with.  Is it really so bad to be home?  Does she really HAVE to learn these orderly things right now?  Is it really something to do, just because it's Free???

What about God's Word?  The preschool does have chapel, but what if they aren't true to His word.  What if they teach things differently than we believe?  What if they pressure her into "making a decision"?

What if other children do mean things to her, but don't get caught...or, almost worse, what if she does mean things to other kids....and doesn't get caught?  There are so many habits that can be quickly picked up from others.  At least when I arrange play dates, I am there to discipline and teach.  We can talk about what happened, and how it could have been handled differently.

However, if she went to school, then I could spend time with my younger two.  Time they have missed out on by having the third around.  Would this be more fair to them?  Am I really doing anyone a favor by having three children at home and giving them all a little, but non of them everything?  What can I give that someone else can't?

The thought of sending her to preschool makes me sick inside.  I want to vomit, I really do.  Does every mom feel this way?  But, then, I have a bad hour and think, yeah, preschool would be great...and then I really think I will get sick of thinking such a thing.

This is how I feel....God entrusted my husband and I with three children.  These children, are not a hindrance...they are not.  And, shamefully, I look at them like that at times.  I know that I do not pour my entire all into my day with them.  Sometimes I just want a break, or I'm tired of playing games, or I just don't want to clean up the mess....or that's all I've done all day is clean up messes.  But....they have been entrusted to me, I feel, to train, teach and even disciple.  Isn't it my job (and of course my husband's too) to teach them?  Why would I send them off to school, to let a stranger do what I feel like I'm suppose to be doing?  Will they get all the formal, orderly, organizational attention and instruction that other preschoolers get?  Maybe not.

But, I hope they would get much more. My hope is that the life I live out in front of them will teach them.  My hope is that my discipline and instruction will teach them.  My hope is to teach them how to live, and by teaching them how to live, they will learn the other things too.  It seems to me that it is more important to teach my kids about God's word, to help them have a relationship with God, to train the in righteousness than anything else.  Yes, they will learn how to read, yes they will learn about science and literature and mathematics, but all with a Biblical worldview.....not the lies our culture leads us to think is true.  That's why I feel like I need to homeschool.  That's why I feel like I need her home with me.  Yes, to protect her, but more so....to teach her to think and act Biblically, no other way.

(emphasis mine)

The fear of the LORD is the 

beginning of knowledge;

Fools despise wisdom and

instruction.

Hear, my son, your father's instruction

And do not forsake your mother's teaching;

Indeed, they are a graceful wreath

to your head

And ornaments about your neck.

Pr. 1:7-9

Hear, O sons, the instruction of a

father,

And give attention that you may gain understanding,

For I give you sound teaching;

Do not abandon my instruction.

When I was a son to my father,

Tender and the only son in the 

sight of my mother,

Then he taught me and said to me,

"Let your heart hold fast my words;

Keep my commandments and live;

Acquire wisdom! Acquire 

understanding!

Do not forget nor turn away from 

the words of my mouth.

Do not forsake her, and she will

guard you;

Love her, and she will watch over 

you.

The beginning of wisdom is:

Acquire widsom;

And with all your acquiring, get 

understanding.

Prize her, and she will exalt you;

She will honor you if you embrace 

her.

She will place on your head a 

garland of grace;

She will present you with a crown 

of beauty.

Hear, my son, and accept my

sayings

And the years of your life will be 

many.

I have directed you in the way of

wisdom;

I have led you in upright paths.

When you walk, your steps will

not be impeded;

And if you run,you will not

stumble.

Take hold of instruction; do not let go.

Guard her, for she is your life.

Pr. 4:1-13

My son, give attention to my words;

Incline your ear to my sayings.

Do not let them depart from your sight;

Keep them in the midst of your heart.

For they are life to those who find them

And health to all their body.

Watch over your heart with all diligence,

For from it flow the springs of life. 

Pr. 4:20-23

Yes, even if my children go to conventional school, we can still teach them God's word.  But, I fear we would be in an even greater battle for their mind and hearts!  Doesn't it sound like God trusted this father to teach his son.  It seems to me he would ask the same of us.

6 things the LORD hates....

Proverbs 6:16-24

There are six things which the LORD hates,
Yes, seven which are an abomination to Him:
Haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
And hands that shed innocent blood,
A heart that devises wicked plans,
Feet that run rapidly to evil,
A false witness who utters lies,
And one who spreads strife among brothers.

My son, observe the commandment of your father
And do not forsake the teaching of your mother;
Bind them continually on your heart;
Tie them around your neck.
When you walk about, they will guide you;
When you sleep, they will watch over you;
And when you awake, they will talk to you.

Today, my daughter was aggravating, irritating, annoying, stirring up strife to her little sister.  All day.  I was so frustrated with her.  These passages kept coming to my head.  But, like the prideful (foolish) woman I am, I decided to deal with it on my own, instead of coming to God's Word with her.  I must learn from times like these.  I waited until bed time to really get to the heart, the core of what was going on today...then I read the second section.

Bind these teachings on your heart, tie them around your neck, when you walk, they will guide you, when  you awake, they will talk to you! 

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I SHOULD BE DOING RIGHT NOW AT AGES 3 AND 2 ARE TO TEACH MY CHILDREN THE SCRIPTURE!!!!!  THEY SHOULD BE MEMORIZING GOD'S WORD.  BINDING IT IN THEIR HEART!!!!

How can God's word, his instruction guide them or talk to them, if it is not first on their hearts?  God says this over and over to parents (and children).

Deut. 6: 6-9
These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart.You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.  You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead.  You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."

New Mission...New Goal.....to teach my children to memorize scripture. They already know a handful of passages, but it's been weeks since they memorized anything else.

To speak scripture to them in the morning and talk about it throughout the day.

Tomorrow, we start with Proverbs 6: 16-19

Because a thankful heart....

My kids like watching Veggie Tales, which I still have mixed opinions about.  This morning, while doing our Bible reading, my 3 1/2 year old heard me say "furnace" and she said, ok...furnace, like what Bob the tomato, Larry the Cucumber, and Jr. the asparagus were dumped into...and the big chocolate bunnies".  I was sad that she had more knowledge about the veggies tale's twisted story than she had about the real men, Shaddrach, Meschak and Abendigo.  So, I'm not a fan of a lot of the Veggie Tales that are re-telling Bible stories.  However, I do like the videos that talk about Godly virtues. 

One such story is Madamme Blueberry who had to learn to be thankful for the things she had, instead of coveting her neighbors things.  The veggies sing a song, "Because a thankful heart is a happy heart, I am glad for what I have, that's an easy way to start...."

Well....I can think of one 3 1/2 year old who is NOT thankful for what she has, at least not today.  I feel like I've slammed against yet another wall in motherhood.  It seems like just when I figure out how to get through one obstacle, another is in the way.  The only way I can think of to teach thankfulness is to "force" her to be thankful.  To make her say thank you for things, even if she's not happy with them. 

For instance, this morning, I poured her water at breakfast and she started crying because she wanted milk.  I told her she needs to say, "Thank you mommy for my water."  Then, when the water is gone, she could ask for some milk.  I remind her throughout the day to be thankful and gratefull...but it seems like a difficult concept for an almost 4 year old. 

I know that children are by nature selfish (aren't we all), but today I feel dissapointed in my efforts to teach selflessness.  The moment we walk into a store, she takes off running and often times screaming, darting in and out of other patrons.  She's not running away from me...I think she just sees an open space and thinks it's time to play.  She teaches our 2 year old that this behavior is acceptable, and it's not.  Then, I'm left standing with the baby in the cart,  yelling at them to stop and I'm sure looking like my kids are out of control.

Perhaps my problem is wanting others to think I am a good mom.  I am embarrassed and ashamed at times.  I try to think through these feelings, because I believe it's wrong for me to respond to my kids out of embarrassment, rather than out of love or desire to correct wrong hearts.  I walked out of the store today with several new outfits (the reason I went) and not one ounce of patience left.  I hate feeling like I can't take them out...and quite honestly, 90% of the time...I can, they behave.  But, today, the hyperactivity of a near 4 year old, coupled with an unthankful heart made me feeling weak and annoyed and frustrated. 

OK, back to my thoughts and away from my rambling.  My question is....how do I teach my children to be thankful.  I feel like I model it, but instances like today, when all I got were nasty sounding "No I don't like" and whiney "I want thiiiisssss...." instantly make me look to myself.  Am I where she learns this from?

One reason I stay home to shelter them from so many of the negative influences in the world.  yes...I know they will be exposed sooner than later...but I want to make it as "later" as possible, so they will be able to understand why something is wrong.  But, some of the things my kids say and do simply shock me!  I have come to the (obvious) conclusion that no matter how I try to shelter them...they are still sinners.  Their selfishness, their rebellion, their disrespect, their disobedience....it's all because we live in a fallen and sinful world. 

My ONLY  hope is that they would fall in the shadow of Christ's cross.  That soon...oh Lord, soon, they would be convicted of this sin, that they would repent and that the saving blood of Jesus Christ would make them new.  I know that this will not mean they will be perfect, but rather that the conviction of the Holy Spirit would fall upon them and that the Bible would be living and they would know when they have done wrong and seek to be changed.  I feel like now, especially now, my fight is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. (Eph. 6:2)  How else can this sin struggle be won until the Holy  Spirit is living inside my children, counseling and directing them?  Until then, I feel like I can only teach them the Word of God, so that one day, it will be recalled and understood. 

Lord, save my children.  They are lost and they need you.  I know they are young and not full of understanding, but soon Lord, I ask that you would call them and adopt them as your children.  Help me Lord to be an example to them.  To teach them in love and to not react out of embarrassment.  I ask that you would use me in their lives, despite my sinfulness.  As she prayed for me today, Lord, help me to know you and to love you more.

Cancer in the bones

Proverbs 12:4  A wife of noble character is her husband's crown,
       but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones

I once hear this verse described this way: a disgraceful wife is like cancer in her husband's bones.  A disease that makes him sick.

I would far rather be my husband's crown than be a disease that could bring him death; like decay in his bones.  I think this is such a graphic picture of the effect a wife can have on her husband.

Your Name

Pr. 22:1
A good name is to be more desired than great wealth...

Every time I hear or read about the importance of integrity or having a good name, I think of the end of the play "The Crucible".   John Proctor has been falsely accused of witchcraft and he is told that if he signs a confession he will be saved from the gallows.  All he has to do is sign his name on a confession (even though it was false).  This is what he says as he struggles...

Because it is my name! Because I cannot have another in my life! Because I lie and sign myself to lies! Because I am not worth the dust on the feet of them that hang! How may I live without my name? I have given you my soul; leave me my name!

Oh, the importance of our name.  We only get one.  Let my life be lived in a manner worthy of only one name and in need of no other.

That they may be ready on your Lips

Memorization has again come up. 

Proverbs 22:17-18
Incline your ear and hear the words of the wise and apply your mind to my knowledge; For it will be pleasant if you keep them  within you, That they may be ready on your lips.

How can these words of the wise be in my mind and on my lips if they are not studied, meditated upon and memorized? 

This is one of my goals of the way I am studying right now.  Reading the same chapter in Proverbs as is the date (thus all the Proverbs 22 posts today) and reading all of the Psalms for his date plus 30 through the end of the book.  This means I can read all of the Psalms and Proverbs each month.  Although I'm not memorizing, I'm hoping that the verses will become more and more familiar each month and will be mediated upon through the day.  So far....I like it.

The training of Children

Pr. 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Pr 22:15
Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child;the rod of discipline will remove it far from him.

As pastor talked about this weekend, it is our job to train our children in the way they should go.  I often think about the early Christians who would use the term "The Way" to distinguish themselves.  Jesus said, "I am THE WAY, the truth and the light..." I must train my children up in The Way...not a way or any way...but in THE WAY.  I must train them up in the word of God.  I must teach them about Jesus, his sacrifice, his love, his glory.  As adults, they will be held responsible for their choices, but they will NOT know about God.  They will not be without excuse.

BUT...my hope is that the Lord would bless my effort to train them up in the way they should go.  My prayer is that when my children are old, they truly will NOT depart from it.  I'm not a name it and claim it kind of girl...but I suppose if there was one thing I would want to "name and claim" it would be the salvation of my children.

The second verse reminds me of a verse I read the other day. Proverbs 19:3 - The foolishness of man ruins his ay, and his heart rages against the LORD.

Every day I am reminded that foolishness is bound up in my dear little one's hearts.  Again..my job is to expose that foolishness...and the sin that it leads to...so that knowledge, wisdom and understanding may replace it.  This verse reminds me that my work...my daily, hourly work of discipline will be rewarded by removing this foolishness from them.  It may not be, probably will not be right away...but it will be removed...not because of anything I've done, but because of the Grace of God.  I am trusting in this promise from the Lord, that the rod of discipline will remove the foolishness, not away...but FAR from them.

Psalm 22:9-10

"You are He who brought me forth from the womb; You made me trust when upon my mother's breast.  Upon You I was cast from birth; You have been my God from my mother's womb."

I know that this Psalm is considered Messianic.  My study Bible says that the New Testament contains 15 quotations from this Psalm.  So, from a purely Messianic view point, it is easy t see this as Jesus.

But, my question, is...is this just about Jesus?  As I raise, and even nurse my babes, I pray throughout the day that the Lord would save them, would call them, would adopt them as sons (and daughters).  Is this another description of election...that even as a babe it has been determined?

Without the Gospel

Today, Tim Challies just posted a quote by John Calvin.  In my head, I heard a preacher presenting these few paragraphs and getting longer, stronger and bolder with every line.  Just reading it made me want to jump up and shout.

Without the gospel everything is useless and vain; without the gospel we are not Christians; without the gospel all riches is poverty, all wisdom folly before God; strength is weakness, and all the justice of man is under the condemnation of God. But by the knowledge of the gospel we are made children of God, brothers of Jesus Christ, fellow townsmen with the saints, citizens of the Kingdom of Heaven, heirs of God with Jesus Christ, by whom the poor are made rich, the weak strong, the fools wise, the sinner justified, the desolate comforted, the doubting sure, and slaves free. It is the power of God for the salvation of all those who believe.

It follows that every good thing we could think or desire is to be found in this same Jesus Christ alone. For, he was sold, to buy us back; captive, to deliver us; condemned, to absolve us; he was made a curse for our blessing, sin offering for our righteousness; marred that we may be made fair; he died for our life; so that by him fury is made gentle, wrath appeased, darkness turned into light, fear reassured, despisal despised, debt canceled, labor lightened, sadness made merry, misfortune made fortunate, difficulty easy, disorder ordered, division united, ignominy ennobled, rebellion subjected, intimidation intimidated, ambush uncovered, assaults assailed, force forced back, combat combated, war warred against, vengeance avenged, torment tormented, damnation damned, the abyss sunk into the abyss, hell transfixed, death dead, mortality made immortal. In short, mercy has swallowed up all misery, and goodness all misfortune.

For all these things which were to be the weapons of the devil in his battle against us, and the sting of death to pierce us, are turned for us into exercises which we can turn to our profit. If we are able to boast with the apostle, saying, O hell, where is thy victory? O death, where is thy sting? it is because by the Spirit of Christ promised to the elect, we live no longer, but Christ lives in us; and we are by the same Spirit seated among those who are in heaven, so that for us the world is no more, even while our conversation [life] is in it; but we are content in all things, whether country, place, condition, clothing, meat, and all such things. And we are comforted in tribulation, joyful in sorrow, glorying under vituperation [verbal abuse], abounding in poverty, warmed in our nakedness, patient amongst evils, living in death.

This is what we should in short seek in the whole of Scripture: truly to know Jesus Christ, and the infinite riches that are comprised in him and are offered to us by him from God the Father.

Never Hurry...

Also it is not good for a person to be without knowledge, and he who hurries his footsteps errs.
Proverbs 19:2

I have been reading Charlotte's Web with my children and Charlotte, the spider is trying to teach Wilbur how to be "Terrific". She says to him, "Never hurry and Never worry". Those 5 words can easily be read over and forgotten, but for some reason, I've remembered them. When I feel rushed, or in the chaos of putting on 6 shoes, pulling up two pairs of undies, changing one blow out diaper and trying to find 3 doggies, 1 blankie and 2 pacis....I often feel overwhelmed...and lately I've been thinking of Charlotte "Never hurry and Never worry". I will take a moment and slow down.

When I read this verse in Proverbs today, again my thoughts went to Charlotte, "Never hurry". Even God tells us this...but I think in a different context.

I often become discouraged because my Christian walk is more like a crawl, or worse, like a newborn kicking and flailing about, but going no where. Mostly, it's because I'm not trying. My almost 4 month old should be starting to roll over soon...but honestly...I don't seem him trying too hard right now. He'll never roll until he works and practices, right?

Well, isn't it the same with us? The Bible tells us that it is not god for a person to be without knowledge....but guess what...it takes time to become knowledgeable. And, harder still...it doesn't just happen. It takes work, dedication, practice and occasional falls. And, at least from my experience...when I try to hurry along my walk, I find that I become discouraged, or I fall flat on my face in humiliation or sin because I did not take the time needed to grow. In other words, I hurried...and I erred...just as this Proverb states.

I recently heard of 2 missionary couples who studied and prepared for 9 years before they set out on the mission field to a remote island, to people who never heard the gospel. Did you read that??? 9 long, long, long years! I haven't even been married that long! They worked for 9 years before they left on their mission. They were full of knowledge about the people, about living in the jungle, about language development...they did not hurry. Then, when they made it to the island...they waited 4 years before being able to present the gospel. They had to spend 4 years taking a non-written language and come up with symbols and words before they could even teach the people (and translate the Bible).

But...during those 13 years of preparing...God was tilling the souls of tribal people's hearts and you know what...when they heard the gospel (which took 6 months of Bible teaching before they even made it to the cross...yes, they started at Gen. 1), the people were ready. They WANTED CHRIST!!!! They needed, wanted and cried out for a savior.

If those missionaries had not obeyed the Bible, if they would have said, eh...I was in boy scouts, I can make a fire and hurried over to this island...I'm quite certain their ministry would have been nearly fruitless. They waited upon the Lord. They acquired knowledge, they were patient, they did not err.

Pr 19:12

"The foolishness of man ruins his way, and his heart rages against the LORD." Proverbs 19:12

Immediately when I read this, I thought of sin, our sin nature that we have even at birth. Our foolishness ruins our way. Even from birth our heart rages against the Lord.

But, Praise the Lord...that's not the end! We can be new creatures, if only we lay down our lives at the blessed foot of the cross. He will make us new. We can no longer be slaves to sin...rather we can be slaves to righteousness. Our heart does not have to always rage against the Lord...our foolishness does not have to ruin our way.

Prov. 1:7 - The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge...
Prov. 19:23 - The fear of the LORD leads to life...

Sovereign God

"...and in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them." Psalm 139:16

Oh that I would remember this simple scripture each moment of my day. I become so frazzled by the work to be done, the bottoms to be wiped, the whines to contain and the cries to be soothed. If only, if only I would remember that each of my days have already been written...already ordained.

Trust Me he says. I know you, I formed you, I will lead you.